On Monday I talked about some fun things you can do to really enjoy each other as a married couple, when the kids aren’t around. Well, most of us don’t have built in sitter services anytime we want them (though my incredible sisters-in-law are the next best thing). So what can we do to keep the fires burning when we have our little people in tow?
– Put on their favorite movie, go sit in another room, cuddle and talk.
– Put them to bed, surprise your honey with their favorite snack, and put on a movie
– Hide in the bedroom and have a full conversation (not my best idea, but sometimes you just have to)
– Begin each day greeting each other with a hug or kiss
– Did I mention sleep? Sometimes we have to do this in shifts. Technically, it doesn’t count since we’re not doing it together. But we’ll be better for each other after a good nap.
My husband and I carefully prepared goals to help our sons achieve in 2015. We prayed about interests, researched classes, signed up for sports, and started saving for activities. We put a lot of time and effort into planning for their year. Charts have been created, schedules synched, and organizational structure implemented. The kids are ready. There’s only one small problem. We’re not. While planning for the little guys, we forgot to plan for the two of us.
Married parents, I think we often forget this. We’re so busy giving our kids every opportunity, affording them every advantage, sacrificing for their desires, that we forget to nurture our marriage. We had to remind ourselves that our marriage is vital, and just like our precious boys, needs attention, care and nurturing. So we’re putting a few things in place to ensure that we make time for our marriage … and each other.
1) Uninterrupted talk time each week. Okay, I know once a week doesn’t sound like much. But with two careers, two side jobs, opposite schedules, and two small boys, once a week sounds like a dream right now.
2) Monthly date night. Now I’ve read many fantastic articles and listened to dynamic speakers talk about dating your spouse once a week. I think it’s a fantastic idea. But we’ve tried. And failed. So I’d prefer to take baby steps and make an effort, than be discouraged because a goal of once a week doesn’t work, and give up. We’ll make those monthly times count.
3) Be sensitive to the other’s feelings. I must admit, I think we do a pretty good job of this now. We recognize when the other is burned out, overwhelmed and just needs a break. And we’re pretty unselfish in granting each other that time and space to relax and refuel. Even with our hectic schedules, I expect this to continue.
Take time to keep your marriage strong and happy. If things are going right with the two of you …. It makes the rest a lot easier to follow.