Tag Archives: life

Who’s the Real Superhero?

superhero

My husband posted something profound on Facebook today. It definitely bears repeating. Well said, honey.

I was getting ready to get my little man(4) ready for the day. He did not want to because he had on his superhero underwear and he knew it meant putting a clean one on. I started thinking you are not a super hero because of what you wear…which lead me to thinking about us n our relationship with god. we are not defined by what we do, have or wear. We are ‘super’ because we serve and belong to a ‘super-natural’ God. As such, it’s time we go out and be ‘super’. Rescue some one today, encourage someone today, amaze someone today, avert a crisis today, after all you are a ‘super-hero’ serving a ‘super-natural’ God! ‪#‎Da‬-Real-Super-Heroes

Not On The Court, Mom

Not on the Court 2

It finally happened. I embarrassed my son. He was incredible on the basketball court – as incredible as an 8-year old can be. He’d actually made two shots to help his team win the game! I was so proud. I shouted – a lot – during the game. During one of my “let’s go” moments, I let a nickname slip. It’s not a “cutey” name or doesn’t contain the words “sweetie, honey or precious”, so I thought I was in good shape. After his face morphed into a deer caught in headlights, he frantically waved his hands “nooooo!” from the court. I thought I was just too loud, lol. Turns out, after the game, he explained that I could only call him “Andrew” on the court. My face fell. I was crushed. Really? Yes, really.

And the list has grown. I also am not supposed to randomly kiss him in public, and I can’t be too silly, lest any of his friends are around. Plus, I can’t mention certain TV shows he watches or fun things he does at home, in case it’s too silly. I mean, really, how am I supposed to remember all this?!

I can’t believe the regulations from my 8 year old. Sniff sniff. Not on the court, indeed ….

Say Cheese ….

Missing two front teeth

My son sang “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth,” from October through Christmas. As anxious as he was to lose his teeth, he was equally anxious that new ones weren’t coming back in. It was taking too long, he lamented. Had he pulled them out too hard for anything to come back, he wondered. Was something wrong with the adult teeth, he asked. And on and on he persisted. He’d finally gotten what he wanted, and instead of being happy and satisfied, he immediately starting worrying about what should happen next.

My son’s only 8 years old, but already he’s exhibiting this unattractive adult trait. Aren’t we often like that? We pray for and work towards something, and then it finally happens. Instead of being happy, or grateful, or just resting in our victory, we start worrying. What’s next? What else do I have to do? How will the following steps take place? And so on and so forth.

Well, just as I saw this behavior in my son, I learned an important lesson from him. We discussed the situation, and he decided to just be thankful for what he was expecting – a new tooth to come in. He decided not to worry and wonder, and instead enjoy the present moment. And guess what … that new tooth started peeking through.

He’s now glad he took those moments to relish his two front teeth missing. And he’s excited to show off his burgeoning smile.

Say cheese ….

Focused on Purpose

I recently received an interesting … and potentially very lucrative … offer. It appealed to me for a variety of reasons. First, it involved organizing and structuring an event, something at which I excel. It offered the chance to pay quite well. It would allow me the opportunity to be in charge, and orchestrate the flow of the event. And it involved lots of famous people. While I’m not the type to get star-struck, the last point made it sound fun and like a great opportunity to network. The person offering the job had the utmost confidence in my abilities to pull it off successfully. He knew I could do it; I knew I could do it; so why didn’t I do it?

Once I stepped away from the glitz and glamour of the offer, I looked at the reality of it. The time needed to make it a success would be practically 24/7, non-stop, due to the short time frame to accomplish the task. It would be a constant grind, and I’d have very little assistance. These two factors alone, however, didn’t deter me. I am definitely no stranger to hard work, and actually thrive under deadline pressure. But the final reason caused me to completely step away. This opportunity, beautifully packaged and wrapped with a bow, was a distraction.

As I study and pray more and more about my purpose, and fulfilling it with passion and determination, I realize I can’t take side journeys that may lead me down the wrong path. Now there’s nothing at all wrong with making additional money using your talents. There’s also nothing wrong with accepting a job that may not be exactly what you want to do – especially in a short-term capacity. However, this job seemed to have all the makings of getting me caught up for longer than I wanted to be, doing more than I wanted to do, at this time. So I had to pass.

Maybe the chance will come back around and I’ll be ready. Or maybe its sole purpose was to see if money would be my guide. But money isn’t everything. Pursuing my purpose, is.

I Can’t Believe Fear Made Me Do That

It was subtle, I’ll admit. I called it other things … anger, frustration, staying informed, being aware, and just plain out wanting to know what’s going on. That’s what I could see. But what I didn’t realize was happening, taking root like a weed inside me, was a pervasive feeling of fear.

Like many of you, I’ve watched the painful coverage of the shootings then lack of indictments in the cases of Mike Brown and Eric Garner, as well as watched George Zimmerman walk after shooting Trayvon Martin. I prayed. I hurt. I cried. And I hugged my babies tighter. Inwardly, I resolved to do all I could to fight the feeling of powerlessness attempting to plague me. Though my boys are young, I slipped in nuggets of wisdom regarding dealing with police and presenting yourself in public. Things no parent of color wants to say. Yet things that must be communicated to our children.

I realized how deeply I’d been affected when I discovered a couple of pricing tags my son had from the store. To him, they were nothing more than something to play with – pricing tags that had fallen to the ground, not attached to any merchandise. They were like the coupons he gets from the machines for me. To me, it screamed unfair and unsavory accusations of theft, accusations and potential punishments. And in essence, I lost it. Instead of giving him a good, thorough understanding of why these items have to remain in the store (he’s only 7), I started talking about stealing, and how people won’t see it as an innocent mistake, and how you can be punished and taken away from us. I came close to crying. He did cry. I wasn’t trying to scare him. I was scared.

Scared of losing him. Scared of him being misunderstood. Scared that such an innocent mistake would be viewed that way were the child white; but for my son, surely someone would try to label him. Or worse. My son is an exemplary child. He’s smart, kind, loving, giving, and knows right from wrong. He was picking up a pricing tag off the floor, he reasoned, not merchandise you have to pay for. And while it still merited discussion, it didn’t deserve my tirade of sorts. I couldn’t believe fear of how I thought others would react to what my son had done, purely because of his beautiful brown skin, made me act.

My husband talked me through it. I went back to my son. I apologized, hugged him, and told him I loved him. I explained things the right way. And while I can’t pretend these feelings will immediately disappear, I’ll continue to pray – and focus on faith – instead of fear.

Go On, Admit It

Admit it sign

Last year, right around a certain birthday, smaller writing became more difficult to see. Seriously, I was like, is there some internal clock that makes readers necessary at age 40? However, I was vain, maybe even in denial. I’d always had perfect eyesight. Maybe if I just focus on different things, not look at the computer screen for hours at a time, it will get better. Anyone else believe that besides me?

It wasn’t until a year later, that I was driving down an unfamiliar road at night, no lights besides those on the approaching vehicles, that I admitted it. I needed glasses, just like the doctor prescribed. Lights were fuzzy, I felt disoriented and driving was miserable at night. Off to grab a pair, I went.

Our lives are like that a lot of times. You may notice something is out of whack. You seem to always “just miss” a good opportunity. Or maybe others don’t seem to give you a “fair chance”. Perhaps there always seems to be someone who can “do it better” than you can. And you say it’s not your fault; you’re just not being fairly valued, and your worth isn’t appreciated. But is that really it? Or is it that your performance isn’t up to par, you’re always looking for an excuse or a way out, or you just aren’t willing to put in the work to be successful? It’s okay, you can say “ouch”. You can get mad. You can even decide you won’t read this blog again. As long as you admit it to yourself … and decide to do better. Make these last few weeks of 2014 a time to admit the things you need to change, and areas where you need to improve (we all have them). Then commit to doing just that.

What Your Kids Really Think of You …. (get the tissues ready)

As I reflect upon 2014 and look towards my goals for the upcoming year, inevitably I want to be a better mother. What mom doesn’t? Too little patience, too much yelling, not enough hugging, too much rushing, not enough money … and the list could go on and on. But moms, we’re often way too hard on ourselves. And who better to show that to us, than our kids. Check out the reactions of these moms to what their kids really think about them ….

Click to Hear What Kids Say That Leaves Moms Speechless

He Loves Her . . .

He’s 7. He loves her. And I’m glad.

My 7 year old son excitedly handed me his math work. “Read the test first” he said, excitedly. So, I turned to the test, to find it covered with “I love you” and “I love (insert girl’s name).” Hmmm.

Sure it was cute. But of course my heart skipped a beat. At this age? Really? Do I have to start dealing with this now? So I talked to him about it.

I must admit, it was adorable. He smiled. Gushed, actually. My heart melted. It’s not your usual crush … she’s much older. It’s adorable nonetheless.

Although my mommy heart is aching, I’m thrilled with this development for several reasons.

1) He not only told me. He WANTED me to know. And instead of getting all weird about it, I simply talked to him. I agreed that the object of his affection is pretty and sweet. I said she may be a little old for him to “court” right now.

2) We established open lines of communication. He saw that I understood his feelings, and wanted to talk more. I was also able to “sneak in” some more mature thoughts about relationships and how exciting it will be when he gets to start courting the woman he’ll marry. Subtle, but I put it in there. 😉

3) He sees I am approachable. And genuine. I didn’t say he is too young to be thinking about girls that way (he is don’t get me wrong lol). Seriously, I let him know I understand his feelings and by engaging him, let him know his feelings matter to me. My prayer is that I am setting the ground work for the future.

So continue to write your little hearts and scroll those precious notes. As long as mom can see them first. :)