Tag Archives: focus

I Can’t Believe Fear Made Me Do That

It was subtle, I’ll admit. I called it other things … anger, frustration, staying informed, being aware, and just plain out wanting to know what’s going on. That’s what I could see. But what I didn’t realize was happening, taking root like a weed inside me, was a pervasive feeling of fear.

Like many of you, I’ve watched the painful coverage of the shootings then lack of indictments in the cases of Mike Brown and Eric Garner, as well as watched George Zimmerman walk after shooting Trayvon Martin. I prayed. I hurt. I cried. And I hugged my babies tighter. Inwardly, I resolved to do all I could to fight the feeling of powerlessness attempting to plague me. Though my boys are young, I slipped in nuggets of wisdom regarding dealing with police and presenting yourself in public. Things no parent of color wants to say. Yet things that must be communicated to our children.

I realized how deeply I’d been affected when I discovered a couple of pricing tags my son had from the store. To him, they were nothing more than something to play with – pricing tags that had fallen to the ground, not attached to any merchandise. They were like the coupons he gets from the machines for me. To me, it screamed unfair and unsavory accusations of theft, accusations and potential punishments. And in essence, I lost it. Instead of giving him a good, thorough understanding of why these items have to remain in the store (he’s only 7), I started talking about stealing, and how people won’t see it as an innocent mistake, and how you can be punished and taken away from us. I came close to crying. He did cry. I wasn’t trying to scare him. I was scared.

Scared of losing him. Scared of him being misunderstood. Scared that such an innocent mistake would be viewed that way were the child white; but for my son, surely someone would try to label him. Or worse. My son is an exemplary child. He’s smart, kind, loving, giving, and knows right from wrong. He was picking up a pricing tag off the floor, he reasoned, not merchandise you have to pay for. And while it still merited discussion, it didn’t deserve my tirade of sorts. I couldn’t believe fear of how I thought others would react to what my son had done, purely because of his beautiful brown skin, made me act.

My husband talked me through it. I went back to my son. I apologized, hugged him, and told him I loved him. I explained things the right way. And while I can’t pretend these feelings will immediately disappear, I’ll continue to pray – and focus on faith – instead of fear.

Too Busy. Too Crazy. Too Much.

November busy blog updated

Don’t tell me it’s never happened to you before. Okay, maybe it wasn’t the cell phone. But you were looking all over for the glasses on top of your head. Or you searched the house from top to bottom for your car keys (oh, the irony, as you will see). Or how about tearing the car apart for the coins for the toll that you “just had in your hand”?!

And then there’s plans. Double booking appointments. Forgetting meetings not written on the calendar. Or one of my new personal favorites, planning an entire child’s birthday party … at the wrong location. Because you’re too busy, things are too crazy and you are doing entirely too much.

Yep, you read it right. A real life situation. The names have been omitted to protect the overwhelmed (no worries, she encouraged me to use her story for my blog lol). A friend of mine called frantic, a few hours before her daughter’s birthday party. She’d done her due diligence – sent out invitations timely, coordinated decorations, planned fun and exciting games, and assured every detail was set. She just forgot one small thing … to double check the location. The invites she sent were to a rock climbing facility all right … just not the one where she paid for the party. So here we were, hours before the big event, calling, texting, even frantically Facebooking (is that a real word?) people to get them to the right address at the appointed time. We can laugh about it now. But last weekend, before it started, I assure you she was not laughing.

Nor was I, when at the end of the party, I couldn’t find my keys. In my rush to make calls, get there early to help set up, and be ever so helpful, I’d put my keys down somewhere. And when everyone left, they were no where to be found. I was stuck waiting for hubby and his spare set to come to the rescue. Too busy. Too crazy.

Stop. Relax. Cut yourself some slack. Breathe. Nine times out of ten, whatever you are stressing over, is not as unto death. It ain’t that serious. Take a moment. Refocus. So you won’t be stuck looking crazy like we were … trying to do too much. 😉

What’s Stopping Me?

November - Stop

Have you ever been in your own way?

There is something burning in you …. something you want to do, be or achieve. Yet for various reasons … sometimes excuses you try to find … you’re not doing it?

I found myself there the past few days. And to be fair, my main reasons for not moving forward are valid, and even wise. However, it’s time to throw a little caution to the wind. And shake some things up.

After all, what’s stopping me?

And Here’s …. 40!!!!

I don’t quite know when it happened. I looked up. And I was 39. I blinked. Then I turned 40. I turned around. And there was 41. Yikes. Does it really happen this fast to everyone else? I mean I just woke up at 35, and here I am, 6 glorious years later.

So what does 41 look like?

Comfortable in my own skin
Revelation of how little others’ opinions matter
Realization that I’ll never be a balance beam champion (that ship long sailed lol)
Looming concerns about retirement
Caring for young children and loving older parents
I need a little more sleep and less reckless activity
So this is what middle age looks like?
Knowledge that I’m not considered a young kid anymore
Readers. I mean, readers?!
Loud music can be too loud.
Eating whatever you like is not a good idea – for your stomach or thighs
More laugh lines, but also more laughter
Easier to prioritize – family vs. whatever = family
The stuff they call music today is NOT music. In my day ….
Debt. HARDLY what it’s cracked up to be.

Loving the skin I’m in and the life I lead …..

Why Deny?

October - Deny

I do it. You do it. For some reason, people do it all the time. There’s no rhyme or reason. Actually, it doesn’t make sense at all. Yet we lean on it as a crutch, as a defense mechanism of sorts. We deny. Deny, Deny, Deny.

Do you want to get married? No, I don’t want to be anchored down, he says, knowing full well he’d love the wife, kids, white picket fence and dog in the yard. Do you want another child? I’ve got my hands full/I’m busy as it is/Are you kidding me? When in reality, despite all the work involved, nothing would give me more joy than another little person. And the denial doesn’t just apply to personal life. Career, goals, hopes, dreams. For some reason, discounting the desires of our hearts can be par for the course.

I think we’re often afraid of what other people may say about the desire. Or what they’ll think of us if we don’t quite achieve the goal. Or … even worse … if we were “believing God” to bring it to pass, does He look bad when it doesn’t?

Well, no more. If I want it, I’m saying it and going for it. Don’t get me wrong, you should still employ wisdom in making decisions about what you share and whom you share it with. But I don’t see any point in denying who I am, or what I want.

Why Deny?

When Purpose Drives You

October - Purpose

I recently read a thought-provoking article titled, “Quality That Can’t Be Taught” by Christy Wright. It spoke volumes to me about the importance of hiring people who actually care for others; people who possess intrinsic compassion, integrity and decency towards others. A flight attendant selflessly gave her breakfast to a pregnant woman who boarded the flight, starving, and had been unable to eat. It was a simple yet profound act of kindness that made all the difference to the recipient.

As I read the article, however, another message screamed loudly at me: purpose. When you are doing what you were designed to do, what you were created to do, you fulfill your purpose. And you do it with joy, with intention. It’s not a drudgery. That’s not to say there’s no work involved – we all know that’s not true. However, your passion to go the extra mile shines through. I don’t know if that flight attendant believes that her job is what she was created to do. However, her belief that she should help and serve others, and do all she can to fulfill that mission, is evident by her actions.

Make it your goal to discover what your purpose is – what did God place you here to do? Then move toward fulfilling it – with everything in you. Your drive and passion will become a visible testimony to those who come in contact with you.

Let Your Purpose Drive You.

Here’s a look at the article that inspired me. Enjoy:
http://christywright.com/2014/09/the-quality-that-cant-be-taught/

The Changing of the Guard

October sunlit-autumn-leaves-4187

I love Autumn. The crisp coolness in the air, gorgeous colors of leaves falling from trees, and for me, a sense of nostalgia, accompanies the season. I am always flooded with memories this time of year. Maybe it’s the passing of summer, perhaps it’s the association with back to school many years ago … or even the upcoming arrival of the holidays. For me, Autumn signals the changing of the guard.

Goodbye swimming pools, beach visits, popsicles, sunscreen, shorts and tank tops, park playdates, running through sprinklers, and ice cream for no reason (well, maybe not goodbye to this) :)

Hello jumping in piles of leaves, school football games, hot chocolate, smores, pumpkins and candy, jackets and jeans, turkey, dressing, beautiful lights, wrapping presents, and precious time with family.

Enjoying every moment….

Be …. Inspired

September - Inspiration

I am looking for inspiration today. Inspiration to write, inspiration to focus on the tasks ahead, inspiration to push just a little bit harder. But right now, it’s just not there. I’m tired. And having a hard time. So, I decided to make a list of things that help inspire me.

1. Being an example for my kids
2. Being able to help someone with what they’re going through
3. The ability to inspire someone else to pursue their dreams
4. Wanting more out of my life
5. Not wanting to waste the gifts God has given me

Easy. No. Necessary? Yes. I must be inspired … even if I have to “inspire” myself!

Just One of Those Days ….

Three Things I Choose To Be Thankful for this Day . . . .

1. Television, and the ability to take a break and let the kids watch.
2. My kids’ friends … and their ability to entertain them so I can take a break.
3. Caffeine … in the form of a Coca Cola. I could use a good dose right now.

Yup, been one of those days.

Happy Thursday. :)