Tag Archives: balance

Someday

Loved this so much I had to share . . .

 

what I tell myself on those really really really long tiring motherhood days….

Someday my house will stay clean.

Someday the dishes will be done and cereal not spilled on the floor.

Someday the juice box straw wrappers won’t be stuck to the counter.

Someday there won’t be swings to push.

Continue to read at: “Someday” – Finding Joy

It All Comes Down to the Money … Or Does It?

This is worth another share ….

September Blog - Money

“Measure your wealth not by the things you have, but by the things for which you would not take money.”
Dave Ramsey, Financial Peace Revisited.

It’s so easy to get caught up in making everything about money. “Look at me I can buy this,” or “We don’t have enough for that.” Or how about “I’m gonna buy this because I can,” or “I won’t be happy until I can afford that.” Chances are, you’re in one of those statements. I read those punctuating words listed above, in Dave’s book, and paused. How refreshing for a book about finances … to talk about measuring wealth by standards other than finances.

Just a little reminder as you start your week. Maybe you’re headed to a job you hate. Maybe you wish you could be doing something, anything, other than what you’re doing. Maybe you feel like you have so little and times are so tough, that sitting to cry is a welcome release. Maybe, just maybe, you have plenty of money … but not the peace or happiness to go with it. Well, here’s a reminder of the things for which you would not take money.

• Your health (you’re able-bodied enough to read this blog)
• Your sight (again, you’re able to read this blog)
• Family and friends
• A place to lay down your head at night
• A mind to think of new ways to do and be more
• The ability to draw the breath of life

I guess it really doesn’t all come down to money. Does it?

Don’t Be Sorry for the Struggle

Fantastic blog written by Christy Wright. And well worth sharing.

“You’re spoiling that child! She’s going to grow up thinking the world revolves around her!”

From the time I was a small child, friends and family warned my mom that her parenting would ruin me. They said I would grow up selfish—that I would expect everything handed to me on a silver platter.

It’s true that I didn’t suffer many consequences when I misbehaved. They were right that my mom rarely told me “no” when I wanted a new toy or outfit.

That’s because my mom, like many single mothers, often operated out of a sense of guilt that my dad wasn’t in the picture. This led to more freedom and fewer consequences.

But all of those well-meaning family and friends didn’t consider this:

I watched my mother struggle.

– See more at: http://christywright.com/2015/03/dont-be-sorry-for-the-struggle/#sthash.DNl9aKW4.dpuf

Focused on Purpose

I recently received an interesting … and potentially very lucrative … offer. It appealed to me for a variety of reasons. First, it involved organizing and structuring an event, something at which I excel. It offered the chance to pay quite well. It would allow me the opportunity to be in charge, and orchestrate the flow of the event. And it involved lots of famous people. While I’m not the type to get star-struck, the last point made it sound fun and like a great opportunity to network. The person offering the job had the utmost confidence in my abilities to pull it off successfully. He knew I could do it; I knew I could do it; so why didn’t I do it?

Once I stepped away from the glitz and glamour of the offer, I looked at the reality of it. The time needed to make it a success would be practically 24/7, non-stop, due to the short time frame to accomplish the task. It would be a constant grind, and I’d have very little assistance. These two factors alone, however, didn’t deter me. I am definitely no stranger to hard work, and actually thrive under deadline pressure. But the final reason caused me to completely step away. This opportunity, beautifully packaged and wrapped with a bow, was a distraction.

As I study and pray more and more about my purpose, and fulfilling it with passion and determination, I realize I can’t take side journeys that may lead me down the wrong path. Now there’s nothing at all wrong with making additional money using your talents. There’s also nothing wrong with accepting a job that may not be exactly what you want to do – especially in a short-term capacity. However, this job seemed to have all the makings of getting me caught up for longer than I wanted to be, doing more than I wanted to do, at this time. So I had to pass.

Maybe the chance will come back around and I’ll be ready. Or maybe its sole purpose was to see if money would be my guide. But money isn’t everything. Pursuing my purpose, is.

It Takes Two to Make This Thing Go Right ….

My husband and I carefully prepared goals to help our sons achieve in 2015. We prayed about interests, researched classes, signed up for sports, and started saving for activities. We put a lot of time and effort into planning for their year. Charts have been created, schedules synched, and organizational structure implemented. The kids are ready. There’s only one small problem. We’re not. While planning for the little guys, we forgot to plan for the two of us.

Married parents, I think we often forget this. We’re so busy giving our kids every opportunity, affording them every advantage, sacrificing for their desires, that we forget to nurture our marriage. We had to remind ourselves that our marriage is vital, and just like our precious boys, needs attention, care and nurturing. So we’re putting a few things in place to ensure that we make time for our marriage … and each other.

1) Uninterrupted talk time each week. Okay, I know once a week doesn’t sound like much. But with two careers, two side jobs, opposite schedules, and two small boys, once a week sounds like a dream right now.
2) Monthly date night. Now I’ve read many fantastic articles and listened to dynamic speakers talk about dating your spouse once a week. I think it’s a fantastic idea. But we’ve tried. And failed. So I’d prefer to take baby steps and make an effort, than be discouraged because a goal of once a week doesn’t work, and give up. We’ll make those monthly times count.
3) Be sensitive to the other’s feelings. I must admit, I think we do a pretty good job of this now. We recognize when the other is burned out, overwhelmed and just needs a break. And we’re pretty unselfish in granting each other that time and space to relax and refuel. Even with our hectic schedules, I expect this to continue.

Take time to keep your marriage strong and happy. If things are going right with the two of you …. It makes the rest a lot easier to follow.

I Can’t Believe Fear Made Me Do That

It was subtle, I’ll admit. I called it other things … anger, frustration, staying informed, being aware, and just plain out wanting to know what’s going on. That’s what I could see. But what I didn’t realize was happening, taking root like a weed inside me, was a pervasive feeling of fear.

Like many of you, I’ve watched the painful coverage of the shootings then lack of indictments in the cases of Mike Brown and Eric Garner, as well as watched George Zimmerman walk after shooting Trayvon Martin. I prayed. I hurt. I cried. And I hugged my babies tighter. Inwardly, I resolved to do all I could to fight the feeling of powerlessness attempting to plague me. Though my boys are young, I slipped in nuggets of wisdom regarding dealing with police and presenting yourself in public. Things no parent of color wants to say. Yet things that must be communicated to our children.

I realized how deeply I’d been affected when I discovered a couple of pricing tags my son had from the store. To him, they were nothing more than something to play with – pricing tags that had fallen to the ground, not attached to any merchandise. They were like the coupons he gets from the machines for me. To me, it screamed unfair and unsavory accusations of theft, accusations and potential punishments. And in essence, I lost it. Instead of giving him a good, thorough understanding of why these items have to remain in the store (he’s only 7), I started talking about stealing, and how people won’t see it as an innocent mistake, and how you can be punished and taken away from us. I came close to crying. He did cry. I wasn’t trying to scare him. I was scared.

Scared of losing him. Scared of him being misunderstood. Scared that such an innocent mistake would be viewed that way were the child white; but for my son, surely someone would try to label him. Or worse. My son is an exemplary child. He’s smart, kind, loving, giving, and knows right from wrong. He was picking up a pricing tag off the floor, he reasoned, not merchandise you have to pay for. And while it still merited discussion, it didn’t deserve my tirade of sorts. I couldn’t believe fear of how I thought others would react to what my son had done, purely because of his beautiful brown skin, made me act.

My husband talked me through it. I went back to my son. I apologized, hugged him, and told him I loved him. I explained things the right way. And while I can’t pretend these feelings will immediately disappear, I’ll continue to pray – and focus on faith – instead of fear.

Go On, Admit It

Admit it sign

Last year, right around a certain birthday, smaller writing became more difficult to see. Seriously, I was like, is there some internal clock that makes readers necessary at age 40? However, I was vain, maybe even in denial. I’d always had perfect eyesight. Maybe if I just focus on different things, not look at the computer screen for hours at a time, it will get better. Anyone else believe that besides me?

It wasn’t until a year later, that I was driving down an unfamiliar road at night, no lights besides those on the approaching vehicles, that I admitted it. I needed glasses, just like the doctor prescribed. Lights were fuzzy, I felt disoriented and driving was miserable at night. Off to grab a pair, I went.

Our lives are like that a lot of times. You may notice something is out of whack. You seem to always “just miss” a good opportunity. Or maybe others don’t seem to give you a “fair chance”. Perhaps there always seems to be someone who can “do it better” than you can. And you say it’s not your fault; you’re just not being fairly valued, and your worth isn’t appreciated. But is that really it? Or is it that your performance isn’t up to par, you’re always looking for an excuse or a way out, or you just aren’t willing to put in the work to be successful? It’s okay, you can say “ouch”. You can get mad. You can even decide you won’t read this blog again. As long as you admit it to yourself … and decide to do better. Make these last few weeks of 2014 a time to admit the things you need to change, and areas where you need to improve (we all have them). Then commit to doing just that.

That’s When You Blessed Me . . .

Blessed me blog - November

I planned and was purposeful,
My attempts to create
Opportunities and options
Joys I could equate

I rushed here, I rushed there
Dotted “t’s” and crossed “i’s”
Proposals and queries
But disappointments did arise

No offers. No interest.
And what came I turned down
Convinced it would not fit
As my busyness abounds

I’d given up, was losing hope
I was tired of trying
I felt like my dream was slipping away
And inside, I was dying

So I surrendered. It’s all I could do
I said God, You have to show me how
You created me to want this
The problem is, I want it now.

This is my energy, my passion
But I can’t make it work
My heart, my desire
Now a burden, in my heart lurks

When I gave up, then the phone rang
Opportunity knocked – and so loud
Interest .. incredible interest
Of my work, I felt so proud

It’s a life lesson I keep learning
Why can’t I remember it so easily?
When I say Your Will, Lord, not mine
That’s when You’ve always blessed me.

Moving forward … onward and upward

Too Busy. Too Crazy. Too Much.

November busy blog updated

Don’t tell me it’s never happened to you before. Okay, maybe it wasn’t the cell phone. But you were looking all over for the glasses on top of your head. Or you searched the house from top to bottom for your car keys (oh, the irony, as you will see). Or how about tearing the car apart for the coins for the toll that you “just had in your hand”?!

And then there’s plans. Double booking appointments. Forgetting meetings not written on the calendar. Or one of my new personal favorites, planning an entire child’s birthday party … at the wrong location. Because you’re too busy, things are too crazy and you are doing entirely too much.

Yep, you read it right. A real life situation. The names have been omitted to protect the overwhelmed (no worries, she encouraged me to use her story for my blog lol). A friend of mine called frantic, a few hours before her daughter’s birthday party. She’d done her due diligence – sent out invitations timely, coordinated decorations, planned fun and exciting games, and assured every detail was set. She just forgot one small thing … to double check the location. The invites she sent were to a rock climbing facility all right … just not the one where she paid for the party. So here we were, hours before the big event, calling, texting, even frantically Facebooking (is that a real word?) people to get them to the right address at the appointed time. We can laugh about it now. But last weekend, before it started, I assure you she was not laughing.

Nor was I, when at the end of the party, I couldn’t find my keys. In my rush to make calls, get there early to help set up, and be ever so helpful, I’d put my keys down somewhere. And when everyone left, they were no where to be found. I was stuck waiting for hubby and his spare set to come to the rescue. Too busy. Too crazy.

Stop. Relax. Cut yourself some slack. Breathe. Nine times out of ten, whatever you are stressing over, is not as unto death. It ain’t that serious. Take a moment. Refocus. So you won’t be stuck looking crazy like we were … trying to do too much. 😉

What’s Stopping Me?

November - Stop

Have you ever been in your own way?

There is something burning in you …. something you want to do, be or achieve. Yet for various reasons … sometimes excuses you try to find … you’re not doing it?

I found myself there the past few days. And to be fair, my main reasons for not moving forward are valid, and even wise. However, it’s time to throw a little caution to the wind. And shake some things up.

After all, what’s stopping me?